If Cancer’s not random…what’s going on?

“The problem with humanity is not cancer or sickness, it’s the lack of the Vitamin pill of love” Dr Pedro Cervantes, Gerson Therapy Cancer Care Physician

“Genes are not destiny. What activates genes? It’s the environment, stupid!”…Perceptions override genetics”. Bruce Lipton, The Biology of Belief.

Cancer was a really big deal for me. I never thought I would get it, that it would “happen” to me. I truly believed I was above and beyond it!! (arrogant I know). Gosh I’ve been taken down a few pegs! So, this question of “what causes cancer?” has been rattling and burbling around inside me for over a year now. After many months of soul-searching, inner enquiry, reading books, researching and personal epiphanies, and after 2 rounds of surgery….I have some theories. Maybe not “the” answers, but I’m less in the dark about the causes of cancer than I was 12 months ago, and more at peace with how to deal with it, maybe even how to cure it and I certain that cancer is not random. It’s not contagious, you can’t catch it from anyone or anything. Cancer is a breakdown of the body’s own immune defences, its own self-care, its own healing mechanism. Cancer is a body turned on itself.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not allocating blame. If cancer is not random, if cancer has a specific set of causes, what that means is we can be responsible for healing it, fixing it, uncreating it, resolving it, being free of it. I feel that no one is to blame for the cancer in their body, but something caused it. Somethings they did or didn’t do, did or didn’t inherit (emotionally, mentally and physically) and being open to the possibilities of its causes, rather than victim to it, to me, is essential to surviving it.

Something, something’s, caused the cancer in my body. And here’s my exploration as to what and why. It has been an empowering journey.


While convalescing I read Bruce Lipton’s fascinating and insightful book, The Biology of Belief. Bruce is a cellular biologist, specialised in cloning, and medical researcher and lecturer, who had an ephipany some 20 years ago about how cells truly function. As as scientist myself (some years ago + degree in physiology and psychology), I love reading this stuff! He points out quite clearly that the “old biology” is that your sick, its your genes. Which is no longer completely true. He discovered the “New Biology”, which is “you’re controlled by the way you respond to the world”, you can live with a deleterious gene and never switch it on. This is profound. This means we actually have TOTAL control over what switches a gene on or off. But, exercising that control is whole other thing all together. What he found to be true is that Perceptions override genetics.

This is the new science of epigenetics, which means “above” genetics, which means control above the gene level. Put simply, if you can change your perceptions, you can change your world. If you can change your beliefs, thoughts, and emotions, you can change your world at the cellular level and at the level of how your life plays out in all its facets.

How did Bruce find this out?

In the process of many experiments cloning cells (genetically identical cells), putting them into cell groups, and changing their cellular environments. The result was completely different sets of cells. Same cell, different environment, resulted in a completely different cellular response. The environment changed the cell.

He states that our cells are in a blood based environment. The composition of the blood controls the fate of the cells. The brain is the chemist – the brain releases chemicals into the bloodstream, that then bathe the cells. Being mindful that we have 50 trillion cells in our bodies! What controls the brain? The mind, that perceives feelings, is then translated from feelings into chemicals (e.g. dopamine, seratonin, growth hormones and a heap more), which are released into the blood and the blood carries these to the cell interface. For example, if I feel fear thoughts or feelings, my brain will release stress hormones and inflammatory agents into the blood stream. The brain controls the behaviour of the body’s cells….which is very important to consider when we are blaming our organs or cells or tissues for the ill health we experience.

Here’s the magic; get this…when Bruce took blood from a person feeling love emotions, and placed in a petrie dish of cells, the cells grow beautifully.
When he took blood from a person feeling fear and placed it in a culture dish of cells, the cells stopped growing. They immediately went into a protection and close down state. In short, fear kills cells, it shuts them down. The simple truth too is that, when you are frightened, you are literally dumber! Fear shuts down learning and taking things in.

Bruce also discovered biologically, along with Quantum Physics, that “matter and energy are entangled”. The mind is energy, the body is matter and they are inextricably bound. Try as we might, we can’t truly separate the reciprocal effects of our minds effect on our physical matter, our bodies.

Thoughts and emotions have a measurable energy wave pattern. “Thoughts can activate or inhibit cellular function in either a constructive or destructive wave pattern”. Bruce advocates that Quantum Physics discoveries “trump” established scientific “truths” (that are still really only theories anyway). However, it is known that the conscious mind only runs the show at best only 5% of the time! That’s not very much. The so-called “subconscious” stuff is what needs changing. The stuff that we are not aware of, that drives us from the backseat, that was embedded as children, that was inherited sets of faulty beliefs and self-limiting feelings. The brain is responding to this, sending out signals that our little cells are responding too, like it or not.

“Once we deal with our powerfully creative subconscious mind – we are NOT stuck with our genes or our self-defeating behaviours”, Bruce says. Now, much of this I have heard, read or tried to ‘practice’ before. But seeing it in cold, hard ink, the actual scientific evidence, not the hearsay of socially derided spiritual quackery, is powerful stuff. Personally, I love proof, evidence and solid truths.

So, our cells need to be “bathed” in the right cocktail of a negative solution to switch-on the gene function; a combination of food, toxins, thoughts, emotions and other signals, because the cells of our body are an interactive community.

And I really love Bruce’s closing take on all this… that it will be the “survival of the most loving”, not the “fittest” that will determine our fates in the end. And I wholeheartedly agree. He points out that to fully experience your vitality it takes more than just getting rid of life’s stressors. To fully thrive we must not only eliminate stressors, but also SEEK joyful, loving and fulfilling lives that stimulate growth.

This is exactly what I discovered about myself when I learnt I had cancer and lay in hospital for 23 nights, by myself and felt into my life, my pain, my fears, my situation.

My epiphany was this: That I had a life unlived. That I had to live my life for me. Not for my husband, not for my son or for any children – but for me. I had to have reasons to live that had nothing to do with them. I had to seek out the joy that comes from living out the talents and gifts that are inside of me, God given if you like. And that I had quite a few and needed to tap into them and feel joy from my doing, not joy from external sources such as people, food and things. This rocked me to my core, I felt it as a deep truth, and I also grieved the fact that I did not know this my whole life and that made my happiness dependent on my environment, on other people and therefore completely out of my control. That, my psychologist would say, is a faulty core belief. And one that changed in a moment. A painful, but liberating, life-creating moment. In that moment of realisation, my love for myself truly began.

And that is why I feel I will heal from cancer.


Anita Moorjani’s book, “Dying to be me also touched me deeply. She had a NDE (near death experience) that instantly cured her cancer, she was in a coma close to death and it can all be medically proven. She learnt 2 important things about herself, life and cancer, which is why she spontaneously healed and lived to tell a wonderful story.

Firstly, that cancer is from fears; unfelt, un-processed, unacknowledged fears that ruin and sabotage one’s life. Secondly that cancer is from a lack of self-love. To live fearlessly and to love oneself unconditionally is an absolute necessity to heal from something like cancer is that cancer is the wake up call to face these things.

I found this to be absolutely true. Her words and experience resonated with me so deeply. I knew, from self-examination, my experience with cancer was based in a lack of love for myself, that manifest as emotional eating (though I was so-called “healthy” and vegan), that so many of my life choices were based on my fears and my judgments and my fears about other people’s judgements of me – including my choices to eat Vegan, to go down a “spiritual” path and to be “better” than I was. I abused myself with my choices, not loved myself. In retrospect, my degeneration was long and continuous, from the age of 17.

It seems I always believed this (another faulty core belief harming my body); that there were only ever 2 responses, or reactions to life’s situations: Fight or flight. Or what I call, Run or Remain. But, in the past year I’ve discovered, in my heart, that there are other options. Resolution. To remain and Resolve and Restore. Not to react, but to respond without fear or anger. We don’t actually have to fight or flee, to run or remain frozen in a difficult situation. We can, I can resolve and restore relationships or situations defencelessly, with love and compassion. Like the concept of epigenetics being a form of positive life control “above” the gene….LOVE is “above” the fight or flight reaction programmed into our cells. The more one grows love, focuses on love, establishes core beliefs about how love works in our lives, the power and value of it, the greater our influence over our bodily functions.


There is also the need to address and heal and care for the physical body like never before also. Dr Max Gerson has obviously influenced me greatly too. As founder of the Gerson Therapy, which is a diet based “nutritionally therapeutic” regime, and a known cure for cancer (yes, cure, big claim, but true), he discovered and demonstrated that;

“The more the whole body is detoxified or replenished and activated, the more the cancer is doomed”.

“In cancer, what is essential is not the growth itself or the visible symptoms, it is the damage of the whole metabolism, including the loss of defence, immunity and healing power.”
Dr Max Gerson

He knew that only a detoxified body has both the power of resistance (immune function) and healing, and I believe this to include emotional detoxification. Dr Gerson knew that cancer was not random; he believed cancer to be a breakdown of the body’s immune defences based on food toxins, malnourishment, environmental poisons, and as proof to his theory, most patients on his organic dietary and detox therapy healed of all disease in their bodies, not only cancer.

Looking back with some sincere investigations, my body began “talking” to me about 2010, after a trip to learn to teach harmony singing near Yamba. I stayed at a friends, drank her tank water and had Giardia-type gut symptoms immediately after it. I went to the doctors twice, but no sign of any parasite. It was an unresolved mystery. January 2012 mum came to stay with us at Kentucky. That day the gut cramps began, but I dismissed it all as food allergy, as my tolerance to gluten became zero. By December 2012 I was seriously ill on and off, and began travelling to and fro Sydney with a dear friend, to see a natural practitioner that had helped her with an unusual symptom pattern, and the treatments did help me quite a lot, but little did I know they were restoring temporary function around the cancer that I didn’t know I had and the results could not persist.

By April 14th 2013 I could not poo and began vomiting and the cramps were debilitating and that is when the medical investigations began in earnest. That was the only time I would allow them.

Interestingly, I needed to see a doctor after my recent stoma reversal sugary (last month) because my ear drum had perforated. I didn’t recall ever seeing this doctor but he reminded me that in 2003 I came to see him (he read my case notes) after we returned from our 6 month back-packing honeymoon in Asia and India. I had very upset bowels, and he tested me for a few things and wondered out loud that if a colonoscopy had been done at that time maybe something, a precursor, would have been found way back then, as I’d a history of bowel trouble dating back to when I was 22.

During my life BC (before cancer), I’ve eaten healthily out of a fear of being unhealthy, not from a love of nourishing my body and soul. I’ve lived fearfully, paralysed in many ways, being too afraid of what people think of me in such a way that I’ve prevented myself from singing, playing guitar, beginning anything new and sticking to it. I simply didn’t believe in myself, but wasn’t aware I felt that way. In my low self worth I puffed myself up and became “better” than anyone else (in my self-delusion!) and at the same time let people push me down and tell me who I was or wasn’t, because I believed that was all I deserved. I was lost. The cells of my body have been marinated in more fear, sadness and self-criticism than love or kindness or care toward myself.


In my heart of hearts, I really do feel that unexpressed fears, locked away inside my body blocked the healthy flow of energy to my bowel organ and definitely contributed to the cancer in me. I was SO afraid of doctors, of medical procedures; so terrified of feeling powerless, of their authority usurping mine, of feeling out-of-control that I wold not permit a colonoscopy until I was 2 days off dead. I felt too ashamed of the notion that someone would stick a tube up my bum (for either colonoscopy or colon hydrotherapy) and avoided it until near death. These fears prevented me from seeking help, from proper diagnoses, until medical intervention and help was THE only option for my survival.

Another important truth I’ve learnt is that, you cannot “fight” cancer and expect to get a healing result. One cannot “fight” a war and win. There are no winners in a war. Cancer is something that exists inside a persons body, that has been created by the body and the person and fighting with yourself is ridiculous. Fighting with yourself is probably a major contributor to cancer in the first place. As Bruce Lipton put it, “survival of the most loving” is the key. Learning to Love and care for yourself in an entirely new way is the way out of cancer. Some call it a shift in ‘consciousness’ (which to me means emotions and thoughts that create our energy field transmissions and attract in our life). Whatever you call it, less fear and more love is it.

I remember distinctly the morning I decided that I could not “fight” this anymore, that I had to go to hospital and be helped. I had a true first experience of surrender. All my “spiritual life” (past 15 years) I heard this word “surrender” bandied about and never had a clue what it meant. I do now. I don’t know how it happened, I can’t analyse it, but I surrendered – surrender is about control. I let go of the control of what was about to happen in my life, I let go of the control over whether I lived or died. I did not give up. I just gave in. I stopped fighting. Stopped controlling my situation. I surrendered to whatever the doctors, nurses, anyone was going to say, do, insist on. I let go for the first time in my life. I allowed whatever was going to happen to happen…and I wasn’t even aware if it was an act of trust. And it turned out better than I could ever have expected and I shed so many tears about that in hospital. The reality of how lovingly and caringly I was treated, how I survived so well, my realisations, my future prospects… all these things I saw were a function of my surrendering the fear, the control and allowing a loving force in life to take over. To me that loving force is not “the universe”, (though it involves the universe) that loving force was, is God.

All my fears about hospitals, doctors, nurses, medico’s, intervention, things poking up my bum or any body orifice are all gone. So is the cancer.

I wonder if I didn’t have them in the first place would cancer have grown in my body? If I had no shame about myself would cancer have been able to take seed in my body? The gut is always hit hard by stress, anxiety, fear. And Bruce Lipton showed me how fear stops cells from functioning and it kills them.

My search for meaning revealed to me that Dr Gerson proves proper plant food nutrition is essential to healing, alongside effective detoxification. Dr Bruce Lipton demonstrates how our energy fields in the form of thoughts and feelings affect every cell in our bodies and show that we are not powerless victims to our biology, but masterful creators of our health and life and healers of our dis-ease. Anita Morjani experienced first hand the healing power of being fear-free, growing self-worth and unconditionally loving and accepting herself and thus healing from cancer. My Psychologist, Rose, showed me that false or faulty core beliefs will run my life until I remove and replace them. AJ Miller introduced me to deep emotional release in the company of God, which supports healing and has helped me experience truths about myself, about life and about how life really works (differently to what I was taught as a child). My extended family showed me how the power of being loved, being believed in and being wanted and worthy also has the power to heal.

Now that I’ve led you through my investigative journey, what does all this mean for someone who gets cancer and wants to move from victim to victor?

This is my current “prescription”,Β (which I’m sure will be a moveable feast over the coming years):

Number 1: Clean up your diet and physical environment. Forget the western ‘food pyramid’. Your life is at stake, your body is dying. You’ve NOTHING to lose and everything to gain by experimenting with nutritionally based healing that has worked for hundreds of thousands of others. This involves Juice – fresh, live organic fruit and veggie juice. Detoxify your body – either via the Gerson style coffee enema’s or some other way. It is fundamental to heal and restore your liver. Have as much organic fruit and veggie’s as you can get. NO more chemicals or additives. The cancer body can’t deal with them and heal too. If you must eat meat, buy organic, only deep sea fish (not farmed) and procure the best quality organic truly free-range eggs, or get your own chickens. Drink clean water – no fluoride, no chlorine, distilled home-made is the best for a sick body (devoid of inorganic minerals). No more chemical cleaning products at home or on the body, go organic where possible. Make the effort to love, nourish and nurture your body and soul in this way.

Number 2: Find the stuff you are excited and passionate about and go do it! Find a reason to live that has nothing to do with your friends, family, children, pets, physical things…work to discover the things inside of yourself that you can do to bring you joy and pleasure. Do something that makes your heart sing every single day, no excuses. Investigate some truths about how life really works, the Law of Attraction at least.

Number 3: Choose whatever Therapy floats your proverbial boat (chemo, radiotherapy, surgery, nutritional therapy, natural therapy)…anything you feel you must do to live well, but go clean anyway and see Number 1.

Number 4: Seek help emotionally & mentally. Dig, excavate and discover your hidden self. Root out those toxic thoughts and faulty core beliefs, grow your courage, diminish your fears and increase that self-worth and self-love. Ditch the silent inner critic and make it heard, not hidden. Remove that resistance to change, the fear of living your true life. Ask yourself “What is my life un lived?” Be brutally honest with yourself while you are alive now, coz you’ll be forced to anyways when your dead. No more censuring. And FEEL. Express those emotions, get them out of your body. Holding them in is a killer. Yell, weep, rage, tantrum, shake..its all OK, none of it will kill you, do it with the safety of your therapist or privately at home. Just don’t do it “at” somebody. Release it and you will feel better. Investigate what you don’t like in yourself, what is not working in your life, where you are critical of you…get to know you better than your cancer does.

Number 5: Ground. Earth. Yep, its real simple. Take your shoes off, go outside and put your feet on rocks, gravel, sand, dirt, grass, even concrete. Just connect your flesh with the great outdoors. Your body is an energy circuit that is nurtured, healed and stimulated by the earth’s energy circuit. You are compatible. This energy is healing. Do this every day for at least 10 minutes. And if you can’t take your shoes off, touch a tree, a leaf a branch, a living thing that is connected to the earth; even if its in a pot. Yes, go all hippy, hug a tree. Risk being seen as a nutter. Better to be an alive nutter than a dead friend.

We are complex beings, cancer is a complex illness and I can’t say with any certainty that my above “prescription” is going to result in a “cure” for any one person.

But I do know that all of the above is working for me, I am doing it all, this is my multi-pronged approach, cobbled together from lots of soul searching and a deep desire to heal my broken life.

My relationship with myself, with my husband, son, family and friends has been transformed because of this crash course in learning how I didn’t love myself, how much I didn’t know how to let their love in … and that I was, I am worth loving. Worth is still growing in me, but every time someone loves me “anyway”, despite my imperfections and my flaws…my self-esteem grows and my love for God grows and the beauty of life grows too. There is definitely a ‘goodness’ to life, a force that wants me, wants us to live happy and fulfilled lives from the soul-based gifts we’ve been given, and share that with the world to make it a better place. Yes, I believe in Utopia! One should never stop dreaming.


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Rachel Roads
    Aug 01, 2014 @ 04:48:24

    Lots of deep thoughts there Katrina – I can see why you have been thinking about this post for a while πŸ™‚
    Totally agree with pretty much everything you say. Epigenetics is certainly something we are going to hear a lot more about in the future, it is only just starting to get banded about now in the mainstream. In this fast and furious world we live in it’s so important for each and every one of us to get back to who we really are, and where we really want to be, and find that balance and harmony that we, as individuals, need.
    Keep up with your marvellous journey of healing and discovery. Sounds like you are well on your way to a new and better you πŸ™‚
    Lots of love
    Rachel xoxoxoxox


  2. jenniheibloem
    Aug 02, 2014 @ 08:32:40

    I find your words very enriching- thank you for sharing your journey. I send you love……Jenni Heibloem


  3. Debby Parsons
    Aug 02, 2017 @ 01:29:32

    Wow Katrina ! You had me from start to finish. You covered so much and worded it all just beautifully. I am sure your journey will help many others. Love and respect to you πŸ™‚ xo


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